Words from the wise

~How to be an effective teacher in class (for teachers)~

Hello well.. this is another stupid addition of my wierd teachings upon the world..

~How to be an effective teacher in class (for teachers)~

1. Bring a large cane and name it "The Punisher"... when students just seems uncontrolable, just say "The Punisher wanna listen to some screaming right now..". (This method is useful to make students listen to all those crap you're talking in class)
2. Meet some lonely students personally and tell them "I have a secret to tell you.. You're my favourite student.. Don't tell anyone.. I believe you're the best behaved student"
   
   • Lonely students are those f**ked up lonely students who lack of "Mommy's love" or "daddy's attention".
   • Lonely students are also those you keeps complaining about life and wants to kill themselves because there are too many 'f**ked up students'.
   • Moreover, lonely students may also be those who are undergoing 'infatation' with other students who are not having 'infatation' upon them... creating a really f**ked up student who listen to "Westlife Songs" 24-7 and say crappy lines like "My life is meaningless without love.." and/or "She's / He's my soul partner... We're meant to be together..."
3. Always be in shape (Applies to male and female teachers)
4. If a male student has a crush on you..
   
   • ~For female teachers.. unless... you have a crush in them too~
     Try wearing a more longer skirt.. Stop winking your eyes with him during class time.. Tell them "it's not real.. they're booby jobs"
   • ~For male teachers unless you're gay~
     Tell them to stop sending love letters..
5. If a female student has a crush on you..
   
   • ~For female teachers who are not lesbians~
     Don't bother to tell them you're straight...
   • ~For male teachers~
     Make sure they won't tell daddy :D
6. Build a webcam in class so their parents can look at them online.
7. Talk to "The Punisher" then gaze at targeted victimized student that is irritating you at that moment...
8. Do a school trip and bring students to your own house... After that, show them pictures of mansions from really wicked educated nobel prize crap winner professors...
9. ~For female teachers~
   When students are not giving much attention, do the "Janet Jackson" and continue teaching like normal.
10. ~For male teachers~
    When it seems like a dry & boring class... do the "Janet Jackson" as well to make thing a little more interesting.
11. Make them think you know everything.
12. Make them feel you actually care about their dreams of becoming filthy rich.
13. Make them believe they will miss you when you won't be teaching them anymore.
14. Make them pay to "The Punisher" when they annoy you.
15. Tell them the difference between Idiocy, stupidity and genius.

Teachings about Video Games :)

How to realise when you just played Video Games too much :

1) Books are like Kryptonites to you... you sream when someone hands you a book and begin gasping for air. (No!!! No!! not the books... keep it away from me!!! I'm melting...)

2) You seem to know the history of "Magina the Anti-Mage" more then your own dad. (geez.. uh.. my dad.. grew up defending the frozen throne i think.. uh...)

3) The nerdy dude next door seems more attractive then you..

"Hello... My name is Wally.. your girlfriend dump you because of me.. she says I'm cuter then you.. I'm here to say sorry man.. no offence.. But I just need to meet you to believe it.."

4) Your eyes need a BIG pair of spectacles...

"Hye there mate.., Wow and I thougt my glasses were damn freaking big.." (giggle)

5) You forgot your girlfriend's birthday after 3 weeks of non-stop gaming sessions with your gaming buddies... (She'll forgive you... after some years...)

6) When a ginie gives you three wishes you ask for..
i) I wish to master all the video games in the world... including those sucky ones in any damn kind of handphone.
ii) I wanna enter the World of WarCraft and become the most powerful being ever been witnessed before..
iii) I wanna have the "Excullibur" and become a holy swordsman..

7) You tend to get overweight... very.. over..

  and this would be your dog not having his weekly walk to the park... (can u calculate how long is that??)

8) You seem attracted to the girls in Tekken.. instead of the pretty girl next door..

9) You join a group rally shouting slogans like:
i) We demand respect to the public to raise the awareness to the World of Warcraft which is flooded by evil-doers!!!
ii) We don't give a damn abou the oil prices!!! Just lower our electricity bills!!
iii) We demand PlayStation 4!!!

10) You want to get married to a gamer like yourself.. (you two plan to have babies in the netherworld of Furion)

11) You form a music band consist of gamers.. and have a very ugly cover album like this...

"Promoting world tour.. we're spreading a massege tho the poeple around the universe!!! Gamers will rule all of you non-gamers one day!!!"

12) you start a religion by using the sacred books from the Ragnarok Online.. gathering decendents and creating choas to those online gamers who don't play Ragnarok Online.

13) You really believe Angelina Jolie is really Lara Croft.

14) When you meet Angelina Jolie you ask her to sign her name as Lara Croft.

15) You think all of Angelina Jolie's kids where evacuated from tomb raiding in Africa.

16) You go to a party which has a theme "Beauty and the Geek"

17) Instead of saying "Let's get back home" you say "let's get 'b' home"..

18) When you can't find your dog.. you say "Rover is '-ms' from his doggy house"

19) You enrole for a 'computer software engineering' course in a private college because you think it has gaming sessions and gives gaming lessons.

20) You go and listen to a gaming seminar every sunday from 9am-12pm.. and bring the "Holy Book of Azeroth" with you..

Teachings about Movies!!!

How could you know when you are actually watching / had watch a sucky movie...

1) You feel sleepy at the 1st few minutes of the movie's intro.
2) You wish the ticket for the movie was cheaper after wathing the whole thing...
3) The title of the movie starts with 'B' as in "Boo" or "Beowulf"
4) The main actor / actress has the funny tone in thier voice (like thier reading a bloody script without even acting)
5) Your popcorn taste a little bit disappointing...
6) You have a movie trauma after watching a movie... (you feel like "I won't watch a movie for the next 3 months" and yes... you would... for the next 3 years)
7) Harry potter looks like someone else...
8) The movie seems tooooo long...
9) You slept during the show...
10) You laugh when the movie was not suppose to be funny..
11) You cry when the movie was suppose to be boring...
12) National Geographic's documentary bout beetles seems more interesting...
13) You feel like writing a bad review about the damn movie in friendster...
14) National Geographic's documentary about the life of an ant was more captivating compared to the movie you are watching...
15) When you don't know the theme of the movie... You were lost in between the storyline during the show... The next thing you realise after the intro was the ending and after the show you said "Let's watch another movie today"...
16) The movie looks like "Free Wheelie" (I hate the movie so I'm going to miss-spell it...) but the thing is... the movie starts of from a wierd looking producing a magical dinosour of some sort...
Plus, it has an ugly name lie "WATER HORSE"!!!! God Damnit!!!
17) The movie has a jiwang2 name... eg: WATER HORSE!!!
18) While watching the movie, you realise how crappy the name of the movie is when it was shown on the big cinema screen
(eg: WATER HORSE!!!)
19) The title of the movie starts with "W" like... WATER HORSE!!!

~A Teaching Dedicated To My SIs~

You wish to know how am I? Well... your weird bro is doin fine... I'm still being the bro you know for 20+ years...
How's my life you ask? Hm... for now... I would say my L.I.F.E. is making me a happy man~

Oyie... Things I think you should know before going to college...

1) When you go to class in the morning, evening or whenever... and see 1000 people doing the same thing... It's normal, you'll get a culture shock for a week... then you'll get used to it ;)

2) Lecturers should not be pissed off by you... they are the people who are going to give you your damn marks for your exam papers... they are the ones who are going to make a difference between you graduating or not... lecturers will give you shitty marks if they don't like you (if you do shitty stuff in thier class or anything like that)...

3) There are many kinds of people there... (people who you may or may not live with for the a period of time in a place you will call "my 2nd home" during your studies)

a) "The high expectors" = People like these are freakin cry babies in the early stage of the 1st semesters... They will complain what the college don't have... say many things about the things the college should have... and forget what the college actually have... In the end they just stop complaining and adapt to the college life-style... They will be either one from the next list of people...

b) "The President" = These peoples are the ones who will lead all the college's activities... They are people who makes the college a "happening" place to live in... The nice ones are famous and liked by many... The not so nice ones are hated because people feels that they crave for power but don't have any freakin idea how to actually do what their suppose to do...

c) "The free lancer" = The people who falls in this category are those who just don't give a damn about what the hell those "The President" peoples are doing... They live a student life where they can achieve balance between studies and having fun easily... They enjoy the things / activities done by the "The President" people... which is considered very "smart" by myself, because they are the ones who is going to enjoy the "show"

d) "The Einsteins" = These people are mostly rare to find beacause they blend in many various sections of group... They are very very smart people beacuse of hard work or they are just damn freakinly born a genius... Most of them are nice people and will help you in your studies if you are nice to them as well...

e) "The Bussiness tycoon" = These are people who are usually wants more money because of hardship in their lifes... They sell Top-Ups, CDs which has a string of episodes of "Heroes" or Korean movies and foods are also possible...

f) Let's just let you learn about the "Others"

4) Take care of your things... handphones are favourite items inthe eyes of the "Stealth Thief"...

5) Assignments are things given by lecturers to make your studies a little more challenging... These things are something you sometimes refer to "The Einstein" people to help yourself...

6) I will never say studying will be easy for you... all I can say is "Make Your College Life as Enjoying as Possible" it would be great to score high marks and all... but... do have balance in your college L.I.F.E... enjoy your time with friends... make connections... build bridges... help others if you are able... beacause you will never know whose the person that can help you back in the future... Be nice to everyone for kindness is blessed with kindness as well...

7) Don't forget to give Mom and Dad a call once in a while...

8) Use the money given and trusted to you WISELY... Mom doesn't have a job and our Dad is going to be 56 of age already... remember that... It is up to us (the 3 of us sibblings) to actually help each other in the future...

9) Take care of yourself... (I believe you know best how to already)

10) My love to you as a brother would always be with you... I will always pray for your success and well being... I hope to see you be a better person after your "journey" through the years being a college student... Don't forget to pray for Mom & Dad... and most of all pray for yourself...

11) Do not belittle yourself... don't worry about not knowing anyone in the beginning at the college... beacause... you CAN and I am very sure you WILL always shine and make other people smile ;)

Living alone in my house...

The night was so silent... I can hear the freakin clock ticking... *tick*.,*tick*.,*tick*...

I have no mood to clean the house as it's like an abandon house that has no living people in it for 10 years... (can you imagine how crappy my place is?)

Bored... Tired of all the crap I'm in... (I wonder how on earth I actually came upon my current situation now...

1) I'm alone at my house...
2) The only entertainment I have is the internet itself... (Thank God)
3) I'm thinking of smoking... Whenever I see the ciggarette (just one) lying there all alone in the box I got from a friend... (I wonder how it taste... nah... I will just leave it alone for now)
4) My dirty clothes can match Mount Everest...
5) Although I have internet... I don't now how to use my laptop to the fullest without any assignments or presentations given by lecturers...
6) Whenever I see the cats that are begging for food in front of my house... I try to make them understand that I'm saving my cookies for at least 1 more week...
7) I have like 20 movies that I havn't watched in my laptop but... still... I don't have the mood to watch it all... YET...
8) The only social interaction that I have from my house is through a chatting "machine"... (Thank God for "Skype")
9) I thinking that by now my friends back at Sabah are watching the latest movie on screen... some are just waiting to "taste" my improvement in D.O.T.A., then one friend wants to show me his new "family"...
10) I wonder if the new shopping complex back at K.K. has the same stores in K.L. already... (well some shops has f**cked up price tags like the shops from "Warisan")
11) I'm thinking wether I should kill the cat or not... because it would die anyway from starvation (by looking how skinny it is... it won't last until next semester opening)
~student feed cats here in UMP~
12) I'm also thinking that... the moment I'm at KL... I will have to meet my aunty who is having her anual V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N. (she chose KL this time) ~hehe~... I wonder if she would have a culture shock when she finds out that... ;p

Oooh... I remember...decided to stay with the orchestra group... and for some reason... I'm going to Jubli Perak...
(watever they call that place... ~wonder how it is over there~)

My sister wants to further her studies... (I'll be helping her out in doing so... ~I'll try my best giving all the support she needs~) That's why I'll be staying at KL for a moment.., (hoping to get a good cheap shoe from Petaling Street again too)

*sigh*., that's another problem... for now... the most freakin important thing is... Finish all any unfinished bussiness (like getting my RM150 from a person and do some paper work) and learning how to survive the night without buying nasi lemak from the nasi lemak dudes... (by not sharing my cookies with the cats)

I just hope when I reach Sabah early December... The family dogs will still remember me (don't want to be attacked by 7 dogs...)

I Will Go On....

Flashbacks came upon me reminding me the time before I came back to Pahang for the start of my 2nd year in Pahang...

I still remembered my mother shed tears in front of me saying, "Sorry that I couldn't give you the best comfort & shelter a son should have..." She was always telling me this and I would just sit there with her listening & smilling trying to make her in comfort... All this time I wanted her to know that it's not her fault that my current family condition is like crap and I will never ask for anything more than her love towards all her children...

My father was really sorry for his past mistakes for helping his "drug addict" brother and being cheated by him... back stabbed... resulting to the creation of an ugly picture of family hood where husband & wife argue because of money problems and affecting thier childrens life...

So... The day when I had to go back to Pahang I could see my mother's eyes laid upon me shining with hope that I will someday be a successful person in life. I didn't ask for money from my parents as I know that both of them are already jobless... Victims of the "evil" they call "government"... But, my father gave me some money the moment before my flight (I didn't ask where the money came from). I gave both of them a big hug (my mother first) and went to wait for my next flight deep inside the terminal with a picture memory of my parents smile just now.

When my flashback ended, my Probabilty & Statistics notes was "looking" at me instead of the other way around (hahaha)... Trying very hard to remind myself the main reason I am at University Malaysia Pahang... To be a better person in the future... I find very hard to do this.., as a the same life pattern was upon myself yet again... Thinking of a person that I had begun to grow feelings for... I always ask myself when on earth did this ever happened?? Earlier this 3rd semester...
~It was from these two words... friendship & trust~

Damn... When I think about later this early December when I'll go back to Sabah to meet my parents again and kep in touch with friends... The thought where I'll be living in my small (literally) house facing my sad mother and my father who is trying his best to place food on the table by doing small business... makes me feel guilty sometimes when I try to have a good time for myself here at Pahang with my friends... and even more guilty for my selfish "feeling"...

My life this semester is full of colours... ripping my own fingers into pieces... going up and down the Uni to do a small programme about music... losing my handset ;p... and realising how special a person can be in my life... But., I now will swim with the flow of life to where it will bring me later on... I just don't care sometimes.. (As they say... what will be... will be...)

Well, I'm going to stop here and continue my freakin life being a Happy-go-lucky fella who believes that L.I.F.E. has load of crap to be thrown to me and also so many happiness to be blessed upon me ;)

I'll continue being myself... calm, rude + sarcastic, helpful and show no emotions :p

Teachingz from ~AL~ (stress control)

Teaching from ~AL~
Stress reliever activities!!!

1) Watch a crappy movie and laugh
about it with friends

2) Play pool with a first timer.. let
them win for 2 rounds then destroy
thier happy time of victory with
series of ass kicking after that

3) Listen to a song in a different
language that you have no idea about
and try to sing the song ;p

4) Climb a mountain and engrave your
name on the peak (feel really cool
after that)

5) Gamble with a first timer in a card
game (poker would be nice).. and take
all his money from him with style and
merciless...

6) Play a video game with friends for
hours & hours of eye torturing
sessions...

7) Going out with a special person and
enjoy a chit chat with them (apply's
to most stress and other crap)

8) Learning something new about using
the internet (something good that is)

9) Play paintball with your father/mom
and letting them win ;)

10) Go clubbing with your dad (hm...
well I had a nice time that night
looking at him having a good time)

11) Watching drunk people walking at
the side roads (Go to them... tell
them you're a cop ~they will believe
you if they're totally out~ and ask
them to walk in a straight line)

12) Get a puppy

13) Giving your old stuff to orphans

14) Play paintball with your parents
but this time you show them whose boss
in the paintball arena!!! ;p

15) Show a smile and get a smile from another person ;)

Teaching from ~AL~ bout the freakin road

What to do to avoid having a bad accident and hurting yourself at the  road..

1) If you are riding a crappy    bicycle with no brakez.. dont speed down the  road coz it will only.. Either

i) Brake your fingerz when you fall   down...

ii) Have a P.H.D.  at the end of the   road (if you knw   what i mean)

2) If you have to chose   between   running down a cat and   killing it in   the process.. and   avoiding it then   getting in an   accident falling down,   busting up  ur  knee (making it hard  to  walk for  days).. Just kill the cat...

3)  Do not look at cute gals/hot guyz...   Look the freakin road..

4) it may  sound  stupid.. but., juzt   remember  that  there are frenz  sumtimez  to  help you  out when you  are in deep   shit., let  them help you  help  yourself  even if  it means going  to  a freakin  doctor  (which you hate)   and getting   treatment (which you   believe is not   worth your time)..   

5) doctorz are not  always right..   Some doctors say  people cant walk   anymore..  but they  walk in the  end..  so., when a  doctor  said you  cant  play the damn  piano  anymore or  you  have to live with  a  wheelchair   forever.. juz believe in    yourself...  prove the freakin  doctors   wrong..   

6) the bicycle we  use is for    transporting you to a  place faster   not  for racing or  doing stuntz which   can  kill you  (yea believe me…  riding a  bicycle  can seriously kill  you if   you're  not carefull)

7) Note: falling from a bicycle is   stupid... Not going to the doctor is   even more... You   know..

8)  When you're driving and   see a   cat... (You just want to kill   it...)   dont try to "kejar" that damn   cat  with  your car.. You’ll never   catch it.

9) Shit happens   sometimes... just bare with it.

Teachings From ~Al~ (way from the underground)

These Teachings Are For Guys Who Have Been @ Will Be Rejected.. Unlucky.. (watever you wanna call it).. in love.,

1) Well.. if you have been rejected for more than 4 times.. try asking for tips from your father or sumthin..

2) after being rejected for the 5th time (different gals).. it takes 1 day to be ok.. 3 days to be alright.. a week to be normal.. a month to be confident again and a year to "get over it".

3) DO NOT listen to love songs after being heart broken.. you'll end up killing yourself.,

4) Well telling friends the sad process about how you were "unlucky in love" (i'm actually getting sick talking about this topic at this point) can help you in some way ;)

5) Don't expect the idiom "there will be another better person waiting for you" to come true.. reality sucks.. don't put much hope yet (hahah)

6) The worst thing is.. the picture memory about you being rejected will stay in your puny brain forever and ever...

7) Don't look at the mirror and curse yourself.. (that's dumb)

8) About the old saying "there are many fish in the sea.." think about it ok.. it's damn true

9) Things won't be the same between you and your crush (the one that has no "the same feeling" upon you) for the time being.. (3 years maybe) trust me on this.. there will be this freakin wierd vibe around both of you that makes you wanna leave your school @ work place @ class..

10) Don't be a dumb jackass @ a freakin kid @ a damn wimp (a person who wants to kill themselves after being heart broken ~according to my dictionary~).. just being F.R.I.E.N.D.S is cool sometimes., remember that.,

11) Maybe.. (i repeat ~maybe~) there is someone out there waiting for you to make the right move now.. (don't put much faith on this teaching)

12) Never ask her "why?".. "how come?"... because you will get some crappy answer and get yourself another ugly memory to remember for the rest of your life..

13) Move on you bloody goat!! find some other girl who will appreciate your feelings towards them.. (This teachings applies to those guys that thinks "it's the end of the world!")

14) Ask yourself some simple questions.. "are you sure she is the one?".. "Now is too early isn't it..?"...

15) After being rejected.. you will have some feeling that you are an idiot., (This is normal not because that you are an idiot it is because.. hm.. um.. well..) try your best to erase this feeling..

16) Shit happens sometimes.. learn from it and don't let shit happen again (I dont know what the hell i'm saying right now)

17) Right after being rejected you have some options to chose from..

i) forget about her..

ii) stay as friends (with the gal)..

iii) go to a wild party and waste yourself..

iv) go to a wild wild party and really waste yourself.,

v) try again next time., (If you really think she is the one)

vi) roll around the floor until you feel ok @ alright then continue life..

18) look at the bright side.. you learn something in life.. "life suck ~sometimes~"

19) if you're 16-23 years old.. being rejected is no big deal... if you're 35-45 years old (plus you have been rejected for like 20 times..) then you should really get some help..

20) Put this information in your head.. the "Rat Poison" are for the rats.. not for you to drink.,

21) Just stay cool when you meet the gal (who has made your life a little more colourfull ~by rejecting you~) and be yourself., be considerate.. and be an understanding dude!!! because you should not let anything in this world make you sad or unhappy...

Stay happy and put on a smile all the time ;)

La Sallianz Paladinz Unite Again!!!

The day (28-nov-2006) started with having no idea who on earth called me the night before.. "Hello, Albrecht.. bla.. bla.. are you free? bla.. centre point bla.. blaa.. 1 p.m." was the only words I remembered vividly, after answering the phone while watching Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC).,

After the show.. I recalled the "conversation" I had before.. So here I was asking myself who actually called me. Was it Creski, Mubarak or Milton? To answer my own question, my "hibernating" brain (which does'nt want to think unless forced to do so) made an assumption.. "It was Creski!! It must be him!!"

Well with that answer.. I send some sms to Mubarak, Saiful (Which he invited Iskandar and Hafiz), Alexander and Milton, and told myself "O.k. This is going to be a great reunion." Then shit happened.. and I mean SHIT HAPPENED., Alex told me Creski was still at Selangor.. Milton said the same thing., so I ask Creski..
"Did you called me just now Creski? Are you playing a prank?"
"I think THEY are playing a prank on you.. Reveal with stealth" My innocent friend replied.

What the F**k is going on!!? I asked myself.. I "meditated" for while and found a grand answer for my own puzzling question "Mubarak!! it was Mubarak who called me!!"  A postulate.. created by my "Not So Working" brain.. I send him some sms and did'nt got a reply.. At this point I totally forgotten about Saiful..

"Sigh.. who called me last night?" I ask myself again.. and again.. knocking down the pool balls into the side pockets all by myself in Centre Point at 11.00 a.m. After pool I went to Eatons trying to find any books written by ~Monica Hughes~ (I wish I spelled her name right).. I always wanted to read all her books.. Then suddenly I got an sms from Elsner.. "Albrecht, we are on our way.. this is Elsner"..

Among every single human being living in Malaysia.. I did'nt thought Davies was the one who called me last night.. So, around 1.00 p.m. I joined Davies, Debbie, Farhan and Elsner at Growball and told myself..
1) Davies did'nt change at all., still the cheerfull guy  I met 6 months ago..
2) Whoa Farhan has a new hair style, I think the hair he had before (When I met him during a family member wedding).. was cooler.
3) Hm.. no change in Elsner too..
4) There is something different about Debbie.. Owh, it's her hair she's keeping it long.. She always kept a short hair.

After deciding that we should watch One Miss Call (final) we had lunch at Burger King.. And This is where Saiful suddenly send me an sms saying he's in Centre Point!!
"Owh Lord Buddha what sin had I commited in the past for not remembering I asked Saiful out to Centre Point?"
Well lucky he had Iskandar and Hafiz with him.. I explained I miss heard davies' voice for Creski's... He looked like he understands and decided he wouldn't be joining us to watch One Miss Call..

The movie was not that great for a finale of the creepy series of One Mis Call.. but hey., the movie had a happy ending.. (I'll write a review about this damn movie later) I finished the evening with them at Warisan Square eating great cakes.. Then I was called from my parents and told therez some "problems" back at home..

I gave some money to Farhan, say some goodbyes and went straight home..

On the way home.. I realised how much fun I Actually had having some chit chat with friends like Farhan, Debbie, Davies and Elsner.. Jokes were all over around us and the word joy was written in our smiles ;)

I'm going to sleep right now.. Damn freakin tired..
CIAO!!!!